It all started with a small group of girls sitting out on the front steps of our non-profit Life House dreaming of what could be at Life House.  The number one thing they wanted?  A wall they could place their handprints on.  Then the next week a group of volunteers said “how cool would it be to have a wall of hands from every kid who comes through the doors?”  A week later a visiting mission team offers the same inspiration.

Only after the third prodding did I finally start to understand that what our organization lacked most was a visible symbol of the youth involved.  I’m not a huge fan of hand walls done sloppy and so I had drug my feet on the issue, until I realized (quite embarrassingly late) that my opinion and preference wasn’t what I should be worried about.  The organization isn’t about me, it is about the youth.  Their stories need to be told and if that is through some paint, hands, and a wall then I need to be willing to step aside and let the youth have some identity within the Life House walls.

We talk a lot about empowering youth in my MAUS classes and creating positive space and identity for youth in their community.  Through this project, our youth get to carry out their idea to fruition.  They get a place in Life House where their stories are told and they are recognized as an integral part of the community.  I’m excited to work in a place where the youth I work with teach me every day to look beyond myself and consider others (especially our youth) more highly than myself.  They show me what it means to follow Jesus and find His heart.

Recently we have started a community service learning project through the elementary school I work with and The Neighborhood Life House, a community non-profit.  Students from a 5^th grade class pitched their ideas for how they could help out the ministry at Life House and voted on what idea was the most helpful and capable of being accomplished.  Watching students walk through the ministry and dream of ways that they could help was truly an inspiring time.  Hearing their hearts for their community and what got them excited about coming back helped me as a worker at Life House to see our work through their eyes.

The students decided on creating a library (which was a huge blessing since, little did they know, we had just received 2,000 books) and set to work creating a plan for the space and how to organize it.  Their thoughtfulness in the process of what other kids would like most and consideration especially for giving access and inspiring little kids to read was astounding. Each week they come back and finish a new part of their plan and by the end of the school year we should have our first functioning community library!

Being a part of the MAUS program, I always learn about empowering others so that they learn the skills and gain ownership of their community.  Never has it felt so tangible as in this project.  The students obviously need assistance along the way, but they have created, organized, and carried out every step of the project with little interference from adults.  Their passion for our ministry and their community has lifted as they consider what projects could occur once this one is complete.  I am so thankful to be a part of a community of learners that equips me to empower others because the results are truly remarkable!

As a student of Eastern’s Urban Studies program, I had an assignment to interview and write a paper about an urban leader. I wrote it about an incredible urban leader I know from the city in which I live, but the same week that paper was due, I experienced a personal tragedy and lost a friend and neighbor who was very dear to me. In having to process my loss in the midst of all the demands of school, I included a tribute to that friend in the conclusion of my paper and was encouraged by my professor to share it in a broader sphere.  It is as follows:

For my conclusion about what it means to be a servant leader, I would like to pay respects to a friend of mine who passed away last week, who I will never be able to interview, but whom I believe is a true servant leader and neighbor and to his daughter who inherited his strength and heart. Angel was my downstairs neighbor for a year and friend after I moved. I watched him every day offer small acts service to his neighbors and anyone else who happened to be on the block – carrying groceries, unpacking vendor trucks for businesses, mowing everyone’s lawn, bringing the trash to the curb if someone forgot (usually me), or just offering his compassion through a kind word or hug. Angel and his family have had a difficult life of poverty, accidents, addictions, single parenting, mental and physical illness, social and institutional injustices, etc., but whenever I think of what it means to be a good neighbor and to have a servant’s heart, I think of Angel. He had the ability to connect and bring people from all walks of life together. He never discriminated with whom he chose to help and he offered his service freely without expectation of return.

In Angel’s last few months, I watched his daughter take him to appointments, fight for him with Medicaid, doctors, and other social service agencies, care for her own daughter and her mentally ill mother, endure physical pain from injuries sustained from two car accidents, and try to go back to school. Even in planning his funeral, she had to fight to make sure that a poor Puerto Rican man was given the dignity he deserved. Jesus said that we must pick up our cross and follow him. There are those who are born clinging to the cross of Christ with everything they have because there is little else of this world for them to hold onto and there are those who are born having to relentlessly make the conscious choice to keep picking that cross up. Angel and his daughter are in the first category and I am in the last. Throughout his illness, I tried to make myself as available to him and his family as possible, to be the friend and neighbor that Angel always was to me. I am not always sure that I succeeded; the truth is that it is not easy to keep choosing to pick up that cross. Having been raised with the values of the “comfortable West,” sometimes it is hard for me to choose to sacrifice my own comfort, to face my own fears of brokenness, to take time out of my own work, tasks, and ambitions, and enter into relationship with people and be a part of their suffering. Sometimes just being present does not seem like enough in a world that shudders so in pain, but then I remember my friend and neighbor, Angel, and I choose it anyway because he was always enough for me.

What was once subliminal messaging (at least as I remember as a teen), is not much more blatant in popular music.  Some themes I saw in regards to sex were:

• Women are not only sex objects but should look and act like porn stars
• Sexual pleasure is what defines relationships
• love=sex
• You show value and appreciation for your significant other through sex

I watched a couple videos by Beyoncé and Rhianna, two leading female figures in music and popular culture.   The above messages are ones portrayed time and again in their videos.  Considering Beyoncé  was just named the “Most Beautiful Woman in the World,” she is now an icon for women, held as the standard of beauty.  Even in her tamer videos, Beyoncé  dress is very revealing and mimics that of pornographic actresses.  Her dancing is often erotic, especially in “Dance for You.”  The same is true for Rhianna.  In her latest song, “Where Have you Been,” the lyrics state: “Looking everywhere for someone to please me all night long.”  Rhianna along with other singers are defining relationships by sexual pleasure.  The stereotype is that men give love for sex and women give sex for love.  However, in the messages I saw from a variety of female singers, things are being reversed.  A song by Neon Hitch called “Love you Betta” portrays this in saying that she is the better girl for her lover, because she can love him betta, or have sex better.  Love is clearly defined here as sex.  Moreover, Beyoncé ‘s “Dance for you,” sends the message: I want to show you how much I appreciate and value you by dancing for you and having sex with you.  Issues of female image, defining healthy relationships, and showing value for those of the opposite sex are being addressed here in a wide spread message that sex is the defining measure.   As youth absorb these messages, their views of sex are molded and actions determined.  Without considering consequences or seeing true examples of positive image and healthy relationships, youth are not equipped to make good choices.

Unfortunately, when you consider today’s music industry and music videos, the age of viewers is quite young.  Take MTV, which is the major broadcaster of music videos.  They readily admit their target audience is 12-34.  Pre-teens and teens are a primary part of their target audience.  Also, a 2003 Kaiser Family Study found that 3/4ths males and females 16-24 years old are watching MTV.  When I was working with youth, the newest songs and videos dominated discussions of youth, so it is evident that MTV’s marketing plans are effective.  Sex is often introduced to and defined for youth from these outlets.  The question is what should adults be doing?

In the MA in Urban Studies program’s Youth Leadership concentration, one required class is Urban Youth Culture.  Within this course students are able to dissect youth culture and messages from the media, in order to better understand and relate with youth.  Within this concentration are youth workers interested in helping teens to develop, make healthy choices, and improve communities.  In order to achieve these goals, they must understand what is important to youth and help them critically analyze the messages they are getting from the media.  Parents, community leaders, youth workers, church leaders, and others in contact with youth need to strive for this as well.

Eastern University’s Center for Urban Youth Development is providing opportunity for these issues to be addressed with youth in a healthy environment through their O,YES! conference.  Being held June 29th-30th, the conference will seek to address issues around sex and sexual health to help them make healthy choices.  Workshops, games, prizes, entertainment and food will all be a part of this event seeking to provide healthy messages to teens. To learn more visit their website: http://www.eastern.edu/academic/ccgps/ssc/youth/oyes/index.html.

As a soon to be parent, I find these to be issues of importance to ensure my future child’s development into a healthy adult.  I challenge other parents and youth workers to consider these issues and begin talking with youth about the media’s messages and motives.  As youth become aware of the messages, they can develop critical thinking as well as ways to provide positive counter messages for their generation.

I have recently been researching the impact of socioeconomic status on youth development for my Urban Youth Culture class and found the results slightly surprising.  According to Peter Benson in All Kids Are Our Kids, youth vary on average only by a mere three assets out of the 40 Developmental Assets across even the greatest socioeconomic divide.  I had to read this statistic a couple of times because, culturally, I am programmed to believe that the divide in assets should be far greater.  On average, all youth only average 18.1 assets.  Youth from higher-income homes average 20.1, while youth from lower income homes only 16.7.  All of these asset numbers place youth in the “vulnerable” bracket of positive youth development, far below the 31 assets the Search Institute believes are the necessary asset target for optimal youth development.

The reality is that all of our youth are in desperate need of communities determined to make a change for positive youth development, no matter the income bracket.  Each side of the socioeconomic divide face challenges that compromise the well-being and development of our youth and it simply cannot be ignored.  Though there are many challenges in bringing about this change, I think the greatest opportunity is to bring about positive youth development in a way that bridges this socioeconomic gap and leads society is reconciliation between the rich and poor.  If all youth are “at-risk,” then why not take the opportunity to develop them the right way; united together as one?  What if the capacities from each side of the divide were united to bring about change that has youth helping one another alongside their community’s support to build their assets?  Not only would youth gain support and social capital that has been compromised far too long now, but they would hopefully put to rest the divides that previous generations have let break apart the Body of Christ.

Research shows that a person’s relationship with his or her boss is a very important contributor to job satisfaction.  But, having a difficult coworker or two can be a real challenge as well.  Working adults with whom I have spoken have shared stories about incompetent coworkers who do less but get an equal share of credit; coworkers who are threatened by a colleague, start to gossip and seek allies; and examples of the negative fruits of bad attitudes and misunderstandings in the workplace.

Are you faced right now with coworker challenges?   You’re not alone.  Take a look at this article from The Wall Street Journal’s online website (http://online.wsj.com) called Handling Co-Workers.

The last time Allison Russo, a pharmacy technician from Tobyhanna, Pa., asked her co-worker for help, she got yelled at. It wasn’t the first time.

 

“I’m not sure why she acts the way she does. I think that she may feel threatened that I’m going to take her job,” says Ms. Russo, whose supervisor didn’t want to get involved in what he thought was a personality clash. . . More

Scripture also has much to say about interpersonal relationships.  Here are just a few passages.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  James 1:19-20 (NIV)

The greatest among you will be your servant.  For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.  Matthew 23:11-12 (NIV)

Do your best to handle the situation in a positive way that benefits all parties involved.  Think of it as an opportunity to apply your keen problem-solving and interpersonal skills.  To help you decide how and if you should take action, you might seek counsel and feedback from someone outside of your organization whose insight you value and trust.  Handled well, this seemingly undesirable set of circumstances could end up working in your favor someday.  Your interpersonal savvy just might get the attention of others and earn their respect.

I live in a divided community.  One half of the neighborhood would be considered one of the wealthiest areas in the city, while the other half one of the poorest.  The divide is unmistakable within the seven blocks it takes to drive through.  One of the oldest neighborhoods in Joplin, North Joplin is home to many of the enormous mansions from the turn of the century, many of which have been sliced and diced into as many apartments as possible.  The rental rate moves from over 60% on one side of the neighborhood to less than 17% by the other.  Rental properties are frequently unkept by out-of-state landlords and yet the rent is still market rate causing a high rate of transiency.  Vacant housing is almost 20% versus 8% in the nicer part of the neighborhood leading to further eye sores to overcome.  I cannot think of how many times I have driven by a home positive no one could possibly live there, only to see a small child come running out of the door playing.  The rate of those with a Bachelor’s degree rises from 12% to 48% in these seven blocks and individuals living below the poverty line drops from over 25% to less than 13%.

I work in the elementary school in our community, probably the most level playing ground our neighborhood interacts on.  Kids come to school and sit next to each other virtually unaware of the vast differences in their worlds when they leave at the end of the day.  Some go home to the biggest mansions in our city, to eat dinner with their mother and father, and enjoy the amenities and outings that their socioeconomic level brings.  Others go home to single-parent homes or homes shared by multiple families, where dinner is never a guarantee, and little enriching activity to engage them.  The beauty of the school though is that it is the place where these two worlds collide and, for the most part, produces a remarkably healthy and uplifting interaction.  Three years ago we started The Neighborhood Life House as another avenue through which these worlds can collide.  A fledgling non-profit in the heart of the community, The Neighborhood Life House has become a safe zone where two very different worlds can play together, learn about Christ together, and build social capital for all of the youth of the neighborhood so that no matter what divides the world throws at us, Christ can overcome.  To be the bridge that reunites this community and redistributes the assets of our community to be shared by all is a privilege earned only by the vision given us by God to see our neighbors, both rich and poor, for their brokenness, but also their incredible worth and speak Truth that breaks down all divides.  The world may continue to look at our community as two vastly different worlds, but God’s kingdom becomes the incredible equalizer and He has promised reclamation and redemption to our neighborhood in such a way that will one day erase the divide. To Him be the glory!

I have been back in Memphis and on staff with Streets Ministries for eight months now.  Streets is a twenty-five year old non-profit ministry that serves the inner city youth of Memphis by meeting students where they are at and building positive relationships in order to share the Gospel.  I consider myself blessed to work with a great staff who share the same vision of loving God and loving others well.  I am very passionate about the role Streets plays as a support to the local low-income neighborhood schools in our immediate community.  While serving at Streets, I met my fiancée Erin Svoboda, an eighth-grade math teacher in the Memphis Teacher Residency program.  We are getting married June 16^th at Streets!  I still keep in contact with friends from my cohort and a few professors who have had an impact on my life.  I look forward to making a visit back up to Eastern soon, and I enjoy hearing about the growth of a program that produces change agents in cities around the country.

. . . The city had called me back to give me an update.  They believed they had tracked down what was now a series of random punching- all with no motive or theft involved.  ”A college fraternity initiation,” stated the kind gentleman on the phone.  I found myself relieved. I found myself with a renewed sense of safety.  And I found myself ashamed for slowly buying into some of the assumptions of those around me.  Why did it make a difference whether this person was a wealthy attender of a nearby expensive institution or a homeless man?  Either way, he is a man.  I began to think about which scenario says more about our society.  If it was a homeless man, at least I could have blamed myself for perpetuating a monetary and economic system that forces a rapidly growing list of those who cannot make ends meet.  Who was I to blame now?  What injustices existed to create this problem?  Where the roles reversed?  Did I appear to be the poorly dressed city “kid” that someone (probably not even from the state) thought was expendable to meet his own desires?

 
What a beautiful lesson in solidarity and what a tiny window into the world in which our neighbors have lived for generations.

Highlighted this week is an article entitled How to Get the Salary You Want from The Wall Street Journal online. This article conveys salary negotiation advice that many of you have undoubtedly heard before. There is actually, though, a fair amount of debate from readers on some of its points. I would recommend taking time to read many of the comments and responses to comments.

What has been your experience with negotiating salaries or raises? What has worked for you? How have you managed to put yourself in a position in which your employer offers or agrees to pay you more?